Almost
by Spiral Downwards
Summary: Sasuke returns to the leaf in a fragile mindset with only one goal in mind. Find his dobe. What he finds though might be more than his mental state can handle. His dobe in the arms of another? No way in hell. Dark themes
1. Almost Reunion

**Almost**

**Pairing:** SasuNaru

**Rating:** T

**Warnings: **Yaoi, dark themes, language

**Notes: **This story isn't canon. There is no 4th ninja world war, other than that; this story is taking place with the main characters in their early 20's.

* * *

I almost call his name when I see him. I'm shocked. It's the same blond hair, the same whisker-like scars marring both of his no longer rounded cheeks. He has grown taller just as I have, but when I look into his eyes I almost don't recognize him.

Gone

The darkness that had once hidden in my dobe's eyes, it was gone. Before his eyes had held a glimmer of the shadows that were in my own. It was one of the bonds that we had shared. Back when we were surrounded by innocent children, only Naruto and I knew what true hatred was.

And now it was gone. Another bond severed. I feel my anger rise. I feel it try to bury the pain I feel and it _almost _works.

I glare at the villagers at his side. The same villagers who treated him like a monster. They did this. They took him away from me.

I came to the village hidden in the leaves to retrieve him. I had gotten my revenge and my clan could rest in peace. Madara's blood had been the last to be spilt. I had only discovered how to kill him a month ago.

After killing the Leaf's elders and their 6th Hokage, I had decided to spare the village itself in Itachi's memory, but I won't now. This is unforgivable. They have taken from me my last precious person.

I'm still watching from the shadows, even as I see my former pink haired stalker approach him. I can feel my sharingan spinning and changing as I grind my teeth, barely restraining myself as I _just _notice the ring situated on her left ring finger. Only the engagement ring I note, there's still time. The bitch will be dead before the sun rises again.

As I watch my two former team mates embrace, I can take no more. I will leave for now. I smile as I take one last look at Naruto. Don't worry love. I will be back tonight.

* * *

Please enjoy a slightly psychotic Sasuke.


	2. Almost Jealous

**Almost**

**Disclaimer:** I forgot this last chapter...I don't own Naruto...I also disclaim all future chapters.

**Notes**: I feel the need to state that I do not hate Sakura. In fact in Naruto Shippuden I think she has under gone a lot of character development and has become a tolerable character now. Any insults towards Sakura in this story will be from Sasuke's somewhat twisted POV, the other characters do not hold any malice towards her.

* * *

I stare down at him. He's sleeping peacefully in his bed. I lower my hand to brush his bangs away from his face, but I stop dead as I finally acknowledge the other person in his bed.

_HER! Again_!

I feel reason escape me. No! This has not been stolen from me too! This filth has not been with Naruto. Not in _this_ way. I cannot accept this.

I move before I realize. I'm grabbing the girl's throat, content to squeeze the life from her. And then I'm being pinned to the wall by _my _throat, a hand squeezing and constricting my airway. I look into my attacker's eyes and red clashes with blue.

Naruto...why?

And then the hand is gone and my name is being gasped from pink lips as my love backs away from me. He continues to back away until his legs hit the edge of the bed and then the pink thing is there, wrapping her arms around my dobe. They are both staring at me in what looks to be total shock.

And then my dobe is smiling at me, my name leaves his lips once more, but this time with joy coloring each syllable. It's breath taking and infuriating at the same time. How can he say my name like that when _she_ is wrapped around him like that? He takes a step towards me with his arms open, looking as if he is about to draw me into an embrace.

But then my dobe is stopped by a tugging on his arm. As my dobe looks back at the narrowed angry eyes of the pink haired girl, I see recognition flash inside his eyes as his smile melts away. He looks at me in confusion, questioning me about why I would try to harm Sakura, and surely I didn't mean to. Innocent confusion and a pleading hope that this is just a misunderstanding seem to fill the blond's blue eyes.

I don't say anything. I _won't _say anything, at least until _she_ stops _clinging_ to him like that. Honestly, it was disgusting. How was I supposed to concentrate on answering Naruto when he was allowing his skin to be contaminated by her? I barely notice as my nails pierce the skin of my palms, apparently I'm clenching my fists.

He calls my name again, this time there is an undercurrent of concern in his voice and I almost smirk at the irony. Oh, Naruto you shouldn't be concerned about _me. _I'm not the one in need of help here, you are. And love don't worry, I'll help you. I'll never leave you by yourself again. It will be you and I and a new life of our own making. And neither of us will ever have to taste the bitterness of loneliness again.

_Naruto can't you see that? _And _**her**_ and this fucking village are the only things standing in our way. They are the only things holding you back from me.

Naruto takes a few slow steps towards me, I have yet to speak a word. The blond turns to the pink haired girl, as I continue my silence, he asks her to go get a bowl of water and a towel. My face furrows in confusion and as I glance down at myself I only just realize that my clothing is bloodstained and that my skin feels tight where blood has dried on it. I find it slightly humorous that at fourteen when Orochimaru told me to fight a thousand men I succeeded without getting a drop of blood on me, but when I fight three ninjas I found by accident while trying to calm down after seeing her with you earlier, I have completely ruined my clothing.

My dobe approaches me again, he moves slowly and fluidly. Whatever happened to his graceless and clumsy movements? There is no visible trace of them now. When he is standing within a foot of me and he is slowly raising his hand to touch my face, I finally realize that this is my chance. I lock eyes with him and smile a barely-there smile. He looks shocked to see it.

I whisper his name, so soft that I'm not positive that I even said it aloud.

And then I'm moving. My dobe is unconscious before his brain even registers that I have moved. As I cradle him in my arms and carry him towards the window, I smile at him as I remember being pinned to the wall earlier.

_You really have improved dobe._

But naturally I am still superior when it comes to reflexes, the blond's unconscious form in my arms is the proof of that, he just took me by surprise earlier. I console myself with this thought for now. We will spar later, at a more appropriate time and truly show each other how much we have grown.

I am bending my knees, my muscles tensing in preparation for leaping from the window sill, when I hear the bedroom door open. The pink thing had returned with her items. Damn. I realize, as she yells at me to stop while she drops the ceramic bowl and fluffy towel, that she is still alive. As I leap from the window sill I make a silent vow to correct that at a later date.

But as I look down at the beautiful treasure in my arms I'm content to wait.

* * *

**An**: I find it both frustrating and very entertaining to write this in Sasuke's point of view. Because I'm writing about a somewhat insane Sasuke, his narration is missing important facts and I'm only including what he (What I believe my fictional version of Sasuke) sees and deems important. If this becomes annoying or confusing let me know and maybe I'll switch up the points of view.


	3. Almost Desperate

**Almost**

* * *

_He doesn't belong here._

That is the only thought that goes through my mind as I stare down at Naruto laying down on the ratty cot. In fact Naruto didn't belong anywhere near this shitty little shack. He belonged on a mattress draped with the finest coverings, in a quiet home, in a village far, _far_ away from her.

My teeth clench even harder as he mumbles her name _again_. But it's fine, I try to calm myself while I take a few deep breaths. Once he wakes up we'll talk, he'll probably be an overly emotional idiot like normal, and he'll agree with me that the only sensible solution to our problem is to kill the bitch and destroy the village.

I pause for a moment after this thought. There's something wrong with it, but I can't think of what it is. It seems like the answer is brushing at the edge of my mind, and I almost have it when I see Naruto stirring and the thought vanishes.

He groans and begins to sit up. He looks at me blearily and says my name softly. The scene makes my lips long to tug upwards in a loving smile, but I don't. Somehow I just can't bring my lips to follow my wishes.

He's questioning me again, not as _concerned_ as last time, in fact he almost seems angry. I don't understand why, I mean I understand the words coming out of his mouth. They just don't make sense to me.

Naruto, love what are you talking about? Kidnapping? Hardly, I mentally scoff. He's being rather over dramatic. I was saving him from a village that would only pretend to like him when they needed him. I was saving him from making _the stupidest mistake of his life_.

I glare at Naruto when he tells me he's going home. Can't the idiot see that's where I'm _trying _to take him? As he stands up and tries to walk past me to the door, my heart rate starts to accelerate. This isn't right. He's not right. He was supposed to agree with me. He was supposed to take my side.

I reach out to him, suddenly desperate. Naruto, _don't_. _Don't leave me. _I'm holding him, clinging to him, and I see and feel him freeze. Then he's questioning me again, but the concern is back in his voice. There's something else in his voice too, something I can't place. I don't think I like it though, and I want to get rid of it. I'm clutching him tighter and I rest my head on his shoulder, pressing my chest into his back.

This time when I whisper his name I'm positive it was aloud. It makes him tense for a moment and from what I can see of his face he looks confused and...worried? But then he relaxes completely in my hold and now he looks almost defeated. I like this even less than that tone in his voice earlier. I feel as if I would do anything to make it go away and I'm desperately wishing for it to disappear.

I run my hands up and down his sides and he shivers. I feel the want to smile again, but then I look at his face. I don't know what I was expecting, maybe a tentative smile or a teasing insult, but the strange blankness that is inhabiting his face is not it.

_What, Naruto? What is it that you want?_

I feel my anger rising. Why? Why is he acting like this? Does he have any idea how long I've been waiting to see him again? How long I've been waiting to hold him, to love him? I wrap my arms around his waist loosely and lower my face to nuzzle his shoulder. I don't know how long we stayed like this, but it's long enough for the air to have become considerably cooler outside. Finally he is speaking again, but it's with that same tone I don't understand. He's asking about dinner, stating that he hasn't eaten since lunch the day I rescued him. I pause to think about that and realize that it has been more than 24 hours since he last ate. I grow angry at myself for a second. I'm supposed to protect him and I forget to make sure that even his most basic needs have been met? But then I feel the want to snort and can't suppress the joy that at least one thing about Naruto hasn't changed. His stomach still rules him.

And then it clicks for me. I haven't really lost my Naruto, I just need to find him, but he has changed. Not where it matters though, I'm sure of it. And I feel like laughing as my mind finally starts making sense of everything. I think back to his anger earlier. He wasn't angry about me saving him, he was angry that I left him in the first place. My heart feels so much lighter and I hug him to me even tighter for a moment before I turned to get the food in the kitchen. I take only one step before I feel movement in the air. I turn to Naruto in confusion, but he's not...there

* * *

**AN:** Sasuke's way of speaking annoys me a little bit. Beginning sentences repeatedly with "but" and "and" was a major no-no in my old english class. It seems fitting though. I can't seem to change it.

I might do the next chapter from Naruto's perspective.


	4. Almost Gone

**Almost**

* * *

"_I should go back...but he obviously needs help...but I didn't tell him where I was going...but he wasn't exactly responding to anything I said anyways'_

I continued heading back towards the leaf village, ready to tear my hair out in indecision. It was Sasuke! In the living , breathing wonderful flesh, and I just left him. What the hell's wrong with me? There's something wrong with _him_ though. He needs help, and Tsunade will know what to do. That's what I keep telling myself with every step closer I get to the leaf. I need to let Sakura know I'm okay too.

Sakura.

We will have to put the wedding on hold now, Sakura will understand though. She has too, it's Sasuke after all. Sasuke who was once our teammate. Sasuke who we have chased for years. Sasuke...Sasuke who had randomly appeared and had kidnapped me.

I staggered to a stop, reality coming to bite me in the ass. Sasuke kidnapped me. He had wrapped his hand around Sakura's throat too, no matter how I tried to reason that one away it still looked bad. I have to accept that Sasuke might not be back for good reasons.

It hurt, on a nearly physical level. I close my eyes tightly trying to fight away the pain. I don't want to leave him to go get help. I don't want him to _need_ help. I just want Sasuke back. I want my stubborn, pain-in-the-ass teme back.

I make up my mind, I'm going back. I don't care if I have to beat Sasuke to within an inch of his life, I will get him to explain what's going on with him. Content with my plan, I turn to go back and freeze. Sasuke is within an inch from me.

I don't know how I can tell, because his face has remained blank, but Sasuke is pissed. He is still remaining silent, but his entire body seems to radiate anger. He's staring at me darkly and I fidget under his unwavering gaze.

"Sasu-" I'm stopped from finishing my sentence when he lunges at me. I dodge his hands easily but his leg kicking out to sweep me off my feet is more difficult to avoid. I reclaim my footing just as quickly as I lost it.

What should I do? Fight him or try to placate him? My choice is made when his arms pin my arms to my sides. I could break from his hold, easily, but I just can't summon the want to. I feel him rest his head on my shoulder again, nuzzling my neck gently, his anger slowly receding. I feel a blush blossom on my cheeks. He is so close I can feel his breath warm on my ear.

"Sasuke," My voice is barely above a whisper, " I'm sorry." And I am. I didn't know what for or even if it's my fault, but I know without a doubt I'm heart wrenchingly sorry.

Then I hear his voice as my heart beat increases and I find myself wanting something I can't name.

"I know, dobe."


	5. Almost Cared For

**Almost**

* * *

He's back in my arms. That's all that matters. I forget completely the anger I felt when he disappeared. It doesn't matter now that I have him in my hold once more. Nothing matters, Nothing except Naruto.

I remain holding him tightly to my chest. I'm slightly shaking, _I am not trembling! _But it's hard to deny the pain his momentary disappearance caused, the _fear_...He is all I have left, my precious dobe. I close my eyes briefly as I lay a soft kiss on his neck.

I somehow manage to deny the temptation to remain like this any longer, and I begin walking back to the shack. My hand is wrapped around his wrist tightly and I never take my eyes off of Naruto's form as we make our way back. I don't intend on ever losing him again.

This time when I go to enter the kitchen he comes with me, my hand still wrapped tightly around his wrist. I present him with the pre-cooked food and I can tell that he is not pleased. He glares at the rice like it's poison and balks at the miso soup and fish. He can glare all he wants, I know what he wants and he's not getting it. I will not allow him to eat junk. My dobe will eat healthy foods and he will learn to like it. I will not let his little ramen obsession send him to an early grave. He is _mine_ and I will not allow it.

I'm going to protect him from everything. I was insanely foolish to have left him alone for as long as I did. It's a miracle he managed to survive as long as he did without my assistance. It was safer for him at the time though, to be left to the protection of the leaf. That was over and done with now. _Now,_ Naruto's protection would fall on my shoulders and mine alone.

I watched him as he, grudgingly, ate. For someone who had protested against the food, he sure did eat it quick. After he is finished he stares at me and I bask in his attention. He is studying me, I wonder what he sees. I glance out of the window and it is pitch black outside. It must be well after midnight, Naruto should sleep. I stand up from the table and reattach my hand to Naruto's wrist. I led him back to the main room and the cot on the floor. Towering over Naruto as he sits on the cot, I listen without making a comment as he rants about how he is not a child that must be led everywhere.

He is asleep quickly and I watch his sleeping face contently. We will be leaving this shack in the morning. We shouldn't have even stayed this long, the leaf is probably already searching everywhere for Naruto. I have a task to accomplish before we leave though.

I use a sedative originally created by Kabuto to ensure Naruto will not be waking anytime soon. I feel momentarily guilty, but Naruto will understand my wariness. After all was it not Naruto who had abandoned me earlier today? The memory makes my chest hurt and I have difficulty breathing for a moment. Yes, Naruto would understand my caution if he finds out I drugged him, although I doubt he will.

I leave quickly and quietly, heading the same way Naruto did earlier. It doesn't take me long to reach the outskirts of the village and it takes me even less time to locate the building I found Naruto in last time. It's empty. I check through the rooms quickly, making sure that the pink haired stalker truly isn't there. She's not.

I trash the rooms as I go through them once again, taking my anger out on the little furniture I see. I run out of things to break long before I run out of anger. I stand in the middle of, what once was, the bedroom. Then I remember, it's not _the _bedroom, it was _their_ bedroom. I don't know whether I should vomit or kill something.

_I want her dead! I want her destroyed, gone, finished. I want for Naruto to have nothing to remember her by. God damn it! He shouldn't have any thing to remember in the first place. He's mine! Not hers! MINE!_

I'm shaking again. I shift slightly and hear glass breaking beneath my feet. It's a photograph of Naruto and I. Naruto. I close my eyes as I'm assaulted with the need to return to the shack. To return to him. Revenge could wait this time.

I leave the village just as easily as I entered and am back at Naruto's side before dawn. I watch him sleep, while I sit cross-legged leaning against the wall. I alternate from catnapping to memorizing the changes in his face. He begins to shift in his sleep as it grows lighter outside. He shouldn't be waking up anytime soon. I feel my brow furrow in confusion, until I remember. The Kyuubi, of course. It was so easy to forget about the Kyuubi now that Naruto had control over him.

* * *

I follow Sasuke numbly the next morning. I don't even know why I'm willingly following him. I should just go back to the leaf. If I really tried there is no way he could stop me. Everyone is probably freaking out about my disappearance too. I could always make a dash back to the leaf just to explain the situation. What would I tell them when I got there?

_Hey, just popping in to say hi and I'm not dead or tortured, by the way Sasuke kidnapped me, is refusing to speak, and is most likely planning something sinister, if the maniacal glint in his eyes is anything to go by. Bye!_

Yep, that is a great idea. I have to go back though, even if I have to lie about my disappearance and my reason for a leave of absence. It's not right to worry them and let them waste man power looking for me when I'm perfectly safe, or at least I'm pretty sure I am.

I make my decision and look for the chance to head back to my village. I see it and my muscles begin to tense in preparation for my retreat. Just as I'm about to leave, Sasuke turns to look at me and I freeze. I've never seen his eyes so expressive before. I see hurt and sadness and anger, it makes me want to cry for him, but that is not what tears at my heartstrings. It's the almost fearful and hesitant hope and the underlying happiness that makes me stop in my tracks.

I can't leave him, but if I don't leave now I fear I'll end up falling too deep into something that I don't fully understand. It will be like quicksand, the more I struggle the deeper I'll sink, until I simply no longer have the strength to fight. Knowing that this is most likely the emotional point of no return doesn't change my choice at all.

I'm going to stay with Sasuke until he doesn't want me by his side anymore, and if that happens I'll kick his ass until he wants me again.

I smile a sad smile, I know something's wrong with him, but we'll work through it. He's my best friend and I'll never abandon him in his time of need. The next time Sasuke turns to look at me, I match his gaze and try to convey nonverbally how I feel. I see some of that darkness in his eyes fade.

That's enough for me, for now.


	6. Almost Routine

**Almost**

_I'm going to stay with Sasuke until he doesn't want me by his side anymore, and if that happens I'll kick his ass until he wants me again._

_I smile a sad smile, I know something's wrong with him, but we'll work through it. He's my best friend and I'll never abandon him in his time of need. The next time Sasuke turns to look at me, I match his gaze and try to convey nonverbally how I feel. I see some of that darkness in his eyes fade._

_That's enough for me, for now_

* * *

**6 Months Later**

My neck prickling is what wakes me up. Without even opening my eyes or turning, I already know the cause.

Sasuke

He's watching me while I sleep again, the creepy bastard. You would think he would be bored of watching me by now, but I guess not.

Rolling over, my eyes instantly lock onto blood red. It seems he never rest his sharingan anymore. I wonder how he manages that. I thought it was supposed to be really taxing on the eyes and on chakra. He is sitting on the chair in the corner, which _is_ an improvement to his normal seat right beside me on the side of the bed. Try waking up to crimson eyes six inches from your face at dawn, not fun.

I stay still and just stare back at him; hey if he can stare I can too. I never see him sleep; he's always awake and more often than not his eyes are on me. Whatever had shaken him up so badly before he had appeared didn't seem to be weighing as heavily on his mind anymore. The pain I had once seen in his eyes had lessened, but the darkness that I had once thought was slowly leaving was more firmly than ever present in his eyes. I hated it.

I close my eyes trying to shut out my thoughts, but all I do is make the funny feeling in my head and stomach worse. The feeling has been there on and off for a while now. In fact, I've been feeling weird since Sasuke and I arrived at this house. The feeling has only been getting worse and more frequent. I feel fatigued sometimes as well. Sasuke is always quick to lead me back to my bed when this happens, the bastard, and he normally stays by my side until I feel better or fall asleep. I've got to admit these instances are really starting to hurt my pride. They also make me realize how much Sasuke has changed.

It wasn't as obvious at first, when I was still completely mesmerized by the fact that _Sasuke was back, _but the more time I spend with him the more apparent the changes become. Don't get me wrong, Sasuke still is and always will be my best friend and one of the most important and irreplaceable beings to ever touch my life. I realize now though how foolish my original thoughts were. The Sasuke I know is long gone and, while this Sasuke may want me around, no amount of ass kicking is going to turn him back into my Teme, not that I really feel up to full out Sasuke-ass-kicking currently.

However, even though Sasuke has random mother hen moments now, he is still the biggest bastard I have ever met and to be completely honest I like him that way. I miss the unshakable confidence of the old Sasuke though. Even after six months of me willingly staying by his side, Sasuke still acts like I'm going to ditch him the moment he lets his guard down. When, on the rare occasion, we leave the house Sasuke grips onto my hand harder than a child grips their mother's on the first day of school. At least some of the clinginess has been slowly dying down.

A small, very small, part of me enjoyed every second of Sasuke's original extreme clinginess. I had never felt more wanted in all of my life. If I am being completely honest with myself, and I am _trying_ to be, I was slightly clingy in the beginning too.

I'm jerked out of my thoughts as Sasuke stands and walks towards the bed. He still doesn't speak often. He kneels on the bed and pulls my head towards him. I can already feel the blush heating my face. Every morning. Every morning he does this. I close my eyes as I feel soft lips pressing against my forehead.

Every damn morning Sasuke insist upon kissing my forehead. At first I didn't mind, I thought it was kind of weird but if it made Sasuke feel better I wasn't going to complain. However, as time passed I made a startling discovery…I might not be completely straight, which was a rather earth shattering discovery for me at the time. I had never even considered questioning my sexuality before, but now suddenly I'm questioning it a lot.

As soon as I started questioning my orientation, my libido decided to kick into over drive. Now the rapidly growing hormone infested part of my brain interprets everything Sasuke does in a sexual manner. Every touch, every rare spoken word, my mind completely twist the intention behind it.

The constant concern he has been showing me isn't helping either. As much as it pains me to admit it some of the things he does makes my heart do an annoying flutter-filled dance in my chest. I feel guilty over these moments as well. I already have someone who is supposed to make my heart dance, and it's not Sasuke. All of these thoughts make these good morning kisses completely unbearable, but at least they're over quickly.

Breakfast follows soon after. I walk out of my room, still in my pajamas, following Sasuke as we make our way to the table. He is always the one who cooks the meals. He let me try a few times, but the threat of house fires and food poisoning made Sasuke prevent me from trying again no matter how many times I asked. I enjoy our quiet meals, though I really miss my ramen.

What really makes me happy though is the fact that Sasuke seems happier, which is truly the reason I'm here after all. I wanted to help Sasuke and somehow even though I'm not really doing anything, he seems like he is starting to do better. But that damn darkness remains in those, now constantly, blood red eyes.

* * *

I am so sorry for the extreme delay. My computer's internal power jack completely broke (as in broke off and ruined the motherboard) and it took a while to get a new laptop. Unfortunately I've also been dealing with some rather serious health problems, but I am doing much better now and recovering.

As to the rather obvious change in narration and tone in general, my plans for this story have changed. My old hard drive was "accidently" wiped clean by an evil computer technician and I lost all of my stories and my entire collection of random ideas, plots, and scenes. I was completely heart broken when this happened and it took a while to find the desire to write again. I have finally come to terms with this and am now ready to say "fuck it" and continue without them. I really appreciating anyone who stuck around to read my story and also to any new readers for giving this story a try.

Now an actually story related note, can you taste the foreshadowing? There is probably going to be one or two more chapters, I'm sorry but without my outlines and notes I kind of just want to finish this story as quickly as I can.


	7. Almost Perfect

**Almost**

_Breakfast follows soon after. I walk out of my room, still in my pajamas, following Sasuke as we make our way to the table. He is always the one who cooks the meals. He let me try a few times, but the threat of house fires and food poisoning made Sasuke prevent me from trying again no matter how many times I asked. I enjoy our quiet meals, though I really miss my ramen. _

_What really makes me happy though is the fact that Sasuke seems happier, which is truly the reason I'm here after all. I wanted to help Sasuke and somehow even though I'm not really doing anything, he seems like he is starting to do better. But that damn darkness remains in those, now constantly, blood red eyes._

* * *

**4 Months Later**

Naruto sleeps most of the time now. I suppose I should feel guilty, but it's not like he's in any pain; He's just fatigued and sometimes feverish. I feel guilt nudge at my mind every now and then, but with the only other alternatives being drugginghim or strapping him to the bed; the guilt is easily shoved away again. It's for his own good after all. He can't be trusted not to hurt himself yet. Besides, the chakra I'm taking from him is for his own good and he doesn't need it right now anyway.

One day, I will trust him enough to give him free reign again, but not yet. Not until I'm sure he won't leave. Not until I know he has forgotten about _her_. Not until he realizes how much he needs me. Not until he realizes how much I need him.

He's getting closer to that point. He never mentions _her_ anymore and he hasn't mentioned the Leaf in months. He asks for help more often now. He is finally realizing that all he has to do is ask and I'd do anything for him. I think I can start to slowly decrease the amount of chakra I'm taking from him. My goal has been accomplished; he's grown dependent on me. I doubt if I left now he'd be capable of picking up the pieces.

He has been bedridden for three months now. He was still stubborn at first but eventually even Naruto succumbed to the natural feelings of increased affection for the one taking care of you. He speaks softly to me now; even on the rare occasion I do something to annoy him. Sometimes I look at him just to find him watching me with a smile on his face.

I'm pretty sure he thinks he has an incurable disease. I suppose he will be elated in the coming weeks when he miraculously starts recovering. I look forward to then. He will be so excited; perhaps I'll even take him out for ramen when he makes a full recovery. By then there will be no doubt as to where his loyalties lie.

When I go to check on him, he's barely awake, but he perks up when he sees me enter his room. I place a gentle kiss on his cheek and enjoy the resulting flush. He never verbally protests to my kisses anymore, and judging by the smile on his face, I think he enjoys them nearly as much as I do. Oh, the plans I have for him, but I will remain chaste for now; he hardly has the energy for more.

I brush his hair back from his forehead and ask him if he needs anything, but he says no. I start to tell him about my day. He always seems happier when I'm talking; he doesn't like my silences. He falls asleep shortly into my story, but that's okay beginning tomorrow he will start to have more energy.

* * *

He responded better to the boost in chakra than I was expecting. He's already spending a few hours out of bed at a time. He's clinging to me as I expected. Even as he grows stronger, he still wants me right by his side. He has grown more affectionate as well. I'm sure my face was quite comical yesterday upon receiving a rather enthusiastic kiss.

I don't know what made Naruto take that final step. It was the first time he has ever initiated any kind of heightened physical contact with me, although I was hardly opposed to the tongue assaulting my mouth. There wasn't anything chaste or coy about it. Naruto invaded my mouth as if it belonged to him, which it does, plowing through the seam of my lips and stroking every crevice of my mouth. My shock, as humiliating as it was, was over quickly and I hastened to make the most of Naruto's amorous behavior. Our kiss quickly turns from passionate to animalistic with plenty of teeth and adventurous, wandering hands.

When I pulled away from his mouth he _finally_ looked appropriately debauched, for the first time. It seems like I've waited forever to see such a sight. It was worth the wait though to see his cheeks flushed like that. His hair was mussed and his lips swollen and red, with his shirt askew and his pants hanging dangerously low off narrow hip bones. We stopped shortly after when it became obvious he overexerted himself. I sent him to bed shortly after and instead of merely watching him sleep, I curled into bed beside him. He was instantly attached to my side, using my shoulder to pillow his head. And for the first time since I've gotten my Naruto back I sleep through the entire night, content with the knowledge that Naruto wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

He has yet to mention either of the two things I hate to hear leave his mouth, the girl or the village. He seems to grow happier by the day. True most of that happiness at first was probably due to his recovering health, but I know at least part of that happiness is caused solely by me. Especially now, two months into his recovery.

We are inseparable and everything is perfect. He needs me. I know he does and the best part is _he_ knows he does too. There is no hesitance on Naruto's part anymore when it comes to anything to do with me and him. He responds to everything with almost reckless abandonment, satisfied to lose himself in his pleasure…in our pleasure.

He has grown quite bold physically. He manipulates my body in ways I never imagined he could be capable of, pulling sounds out of me I didn't even know I could make. Although to be fair I've pulled my own spectrum of exquisite sounds out of him as well. I was shocked to find Naruto shockingly soft spoken in bed. It takes an expert hand, and other body parts, to pull those delicious whimpers out of him or those heady moans.

* * *

Physically Naruto is completely recovered. His excitement is nearly palpable. We celebrate by spending the day in bed. I am content to relish in the fact that this is the happiest I have ever been, that _we have ever been. _I decide to surprise him tonight. We're going out for ramen, it's not Ichiraku, but I've been assured by some helpful villagers, under threat of torture, that it is the best ramen in a three days walk from our house.

We have been at the restaurant for little over half an hour when our world crashes down around us.

….they found him.

* * *

I feel like I've forgotten so much of my original story, please forgive the horrible plot holes, time skips, and any inconsistencies. On a side note, my characters were being stubborn and I don't know why. There's just something about Naruto and Sasuke in this story. I just can't write them intimately, I can allude to it and I have no problem with writing them explicitly screwing each other brains out normally, but with this story it just would not come.

**To the reviewers,** do you have any idea how awesome it is to know people actually read my notes? Y'all are awesome! To the guest reviewer, I try to respond to all reviews but I can't really PM you so I'll thank you here. Your review helped relieve some of my nerves about this story. I wanted to just scrap this story for a while because of everything that has happened while writing the original version of it and then losing it, and now it feels so disjointed and at some points down right sloppy. Thanks for the encouragement that it's turning out okay anyway.


	8. Almost Normal

**Almost**

* * *

He lost it. Sasuke really, truly, completely lost his mind somewhere on the road of revenge, or at least that's the majority opinion. Personally, I don't know what to think. But as Sasuke sits in a padded jail cell awaiting trial and I sit in the Recovery Room of the hospital, I can't help but consider everything that has happened to me.

He had been zapping my chakra, not only that he was drugging me and had me under multiple genjutsus. Tsunade told me after they were done that the team of specialist had never seen a more complex weaving of genjutsus. They were layered and intertwined and tangled so thickly that they had feared my recovery from it would be impossible and that they would leave me brain dead by the time they were done. Fortunately it went better than they were expecting.

The genjutsus he had on me though, he had been trying to control every aspect of my life, every thought, every feeling, and every action. How much did he succeed? How much was me? The year I spent with him replay over and over again in my head. Most of that time is a blur.

So much of the time I spent with him is happy memories, though Sakura says the good feelings I have about those memories are mostly if not entirely due to the jutsus. I wonder if she's right about that part. Is there any truth to her words? Are my own feelings wrong? If it was just the jutsus, then shouldn't those feelings be gone now?

Can I truly accept that all of those memories are lies, that all those feelings are lies? I remember spending warm afternoons with him on the porch and him just being so _Sasuke, _and I remember waking up knowing, _without a doubt for the first time in my life,_ that someone loved me completely just for being me. I didn't even feel that complete sense of doubtlessness with Sakura. It's difficult to believe that the level of love and compassion I feel with Sasuke was fabricated by a jutsu.

When I'm in the mood to believe them though, I get annoyed with myself. I think about how I feel and about Sasuke and what he's been through and I just can't summon any anger towards him. I know I should. In the back of my mind I know I should be furious, I should feel violated, I should feel used and maybe even humiliated. I should feel a lot of things that I just don't.

The times of doubt never last long and at the end of them all I want is Sasuke, and now I mean that more than just a brotherly way. And I don't blame him for that, in fact I don't really mind my newer feelings for him that much at all. Tsunade and Kakashi are sure that I'm in denial, that I just can't accept the fact that Sasuke is well and truly gone. And that what this person did is something the Sasuke of my memories would never do. They think I need help when I tell them Sasuke was just trying to do what he thought was best for me and that everything he did was out of love for me.

That's the part that everyone else understands the least. Everyone thinks Sasuke has become this horrible monster, that the old Sasuke has been gone for years and that no amount of trying will ever get him back. They can only see wickedness in his actions; they can't see his true motivations. They just don't understand that we need each other, that we have always needed each other and that this darkness inside of Sasuke isn't anything new and isn't anything to be feared. They just can't comprehend, or maybe they just don't want to acknowledge, this is who Sasuke was the entire time. From the moment his world came crashing down around his ears and his parents saw the business end of his brother's kunai, Sasuke was tainted, Sasuke was dark, Sasuke was just like me. And I don't think any of them, besides perhaps Kakashi, have any idea about the extent of the darkness within myself. But darkness or not, I want to be with Sasuke. I don't want to play house with Sakura or play good little soldier for Tsunade. I want to be by Sasuke's side. I need him.

I try to tell them that I was willing and that he didn't do anything I didn't want. I try to explain that my change in feelings and actions are my own. I try to explain that Sasuke didn't do anything wrong and that he treated me well and that if they just talked to Sasuke they would see that Sasuke really loves me.

Tsunade says that all of my "conflicting feelings" are the result of the mental stress from breaking the genjutsus and Stockholm syndrome. She assures me that talking with someone, plenty of rest, and time will help me see the circumstances better.

I hope she's right and I hope I see "reason" soon if she is. Because as it stands I don't think the Naruto they want to think I am will be sticking around much longer.

They claim they're helping me, that they want what's best for me, but all I see is them keeping me away from Sasuke. And really how could they know what I need better than Sasuke and I do?

And every day I'm forced to spend away from Sasuke, I start to see why Sasuke took matters into his own hands in the first place. No one else understands us. No one else ever will. It's pointless trying to explain to them what's going on between me and Sasuke. All they will do is try to tear us apart. They just can't understand. They can't see it. They can't feel it. They never will be able to. They don't have that same darkness in their eyes that we do.

* * *

**Notes: **Just thought it would probably be good to put in a reminder that neither Sasuke nor Naruto are reliable sources of information in this story. So, yes some information is left out and some information is warped or wrong.

So…Did Sasuke turn Naruto as crazy as himself, are there still jutsus on Naruto that the leaf nin missed, did the leaf nin damage Naruto when they were working on him (and if so how much), is he suffering from stress and Stockholm syndrome, or was Naruto having issues all along? That is left to your interpretation, and I would love to hear your opinion on what's up with Naruto and how Sasuke is doing in that cell.

Consider this an open ending, if more of my original story comes back to me or if I get inspiration to continue this story I will, but as of now it's finished.


End file.
